Hunter kept his eyes closed. Tears were falling. He didn't want her to see him cry. She was sleeping in a bed, but it wasn't good enough. Not for her. She just had to be next to him. Hunter hid his face in his pillow as best he could. There were moments when he was worried that she saw him. Saw a tear fall down his cheek or saw his eyes clench shut as he tried to control himself. He was crying. When she took his hand and put it in her lap, Hunter could barely stand it. She lightly touched his palm and Hunter could feel his hand twitch lightly at every touch. It was taking so much of his composure to stop himself from showing her that he was awake. From embarrassing her and forcing her to face the feelings that she didn't want to face. She shouldn't. She would get over him. He would drive back and she could get a flight back and then that way they won't have to deal with the drive back. The latter half of this one had been so painful. Another entire trip of this pain would probably kill him.
He felt the warmness of her lap and her hand leave for a second before returning, but less so. Hunter waited for the sound of motion to settle before venturing a glance. She was lying there her hands lightly touching his, hooking onto his fingers like she was holding on to him. Hunter waited for what seemed like centuries as she fell asleep. He finally turned on his side, looking at her. He couldn't believe her. At first she says she doesn't want him. Then she does stuff like this. Hunter sighed shakily and ran his thumb across the back of her, looking into her face and making sure she wasn't waking up. Hunter finally stopped crying and looked at her face. It was the closest they had been in a long time. Why did she have to toy with him like that? Giving him a look or a glance or a touch. She had to know that he still loved her, so why would she do this?
"Why are you messing with me, Ellie?" Hunter whispered as he brushed some hair from her face. He froze and realized what he had said and what he had done. He had let him do something that was not even close to being just her friend. He couldn't stand it anymore. He scooted over a little and looked at her face as he put a hand lightly on her hip. He didn't pull her closer and he didn't kiss her. As much as he wanted to. He just needed to touch her. To be able to feel her heart racing and to feel her warmth. Hunter felt happy. He was sleeping next to her. He was able to look at her as he fell asleep. That time came shortly after.
Hunter's eyes blinked open the next morning. For the first time in a long time, he woke up with a smile on his face. Every morning before that night in St. Louis, he had woken up and been happy that he could hold someone as beautiful as she was. He was happy that he could feel that one more time. Possibly the last time. He opened his eyes and saw nothing, but bed and carpet. Arabella was gone. There was no hand holding. No hair to brush away. No person to touch. Had it been a dream? It seemed to be all too real to be a dream. He sat up and ran a hand through his hair, seeing Arabella sleeping on the bed. His heart was confused mostly. It hurt him a little. He had slept only because he was able to look at her while he fell asleep.
He couldn't deal with this anymore. He was sad that she still didn't want to be with him. He was happy that she didn't stop talking to him altogether. He was mad at her for messing with his feelings like this. Every time he felt like she was getting close to him again, she stopped. It was his dream to be with her again and that made it even more difficult to think that she would mess with him. She was toying with him. Or he was dreaming. He ran a hand through his hair and looked at her, putting his chin on the bed. She was sleeping calmly like nothing was bothering her. He wished that he could do the same. He sighed and rubbed his eyes again. That's when she started waking up. How should he behave? He was sad and he wanted to be with her. He would always want to be with her. He was angry though and he was frustrated. Why did she keep treating him like a boyfriend? Hunter wanted to be with her, but as long as she was mad at him that wouldn't happen. However, if she were going to be mad at him then she needed to be mad at him. Not getting back together with him, but not doing things like she did last night.
"Good morning." Hunter said with a sigh. He was looking at her and she finally opened her eyes. He gave her a friendly smile, but that's all it was. It wasn't a 'I'm so happy that I get to be with you' smile. It wasn't a 'I love you more and more every time I see you' smile. It wasn't a 'I can't believe that I get to be with someone so beautiful' smile. It was a 'hello, friend' smile. Hunter was done trying to win her back or care for her like he had as his girlfriend. She was just his friend. He watched as she shifted slightly, turning her head to look at him. She hesitated a moment before putting a smile on her face. Her smile. It was the smile she gave him since a few months ago.
"Morning." She said brightly. How could she keep doing this? She was treating him like she always did. That's not fair. They locked eyes and for once, Hunter didn't feel anything. He had shoved it down and he was done feeling for her. There was a moment of silence before she spoke again. "Did you sleep okay?" She asked quietly.
"Fine." He said shortly. "It's the floor which will never be fantastic sleep, but it's fine." He said with a sigh. "How about you?"
"Hunter, you didn't have to do that." She said softly. "I could have slept on the floor and you could have had the bed or--" She stopped herself and blushed a little. Hunter sighed and shook his head.
"No. It's okay." Hunter said quietly. "I'm used to sleeping on the floor. Crappy sleep is not a stranger." He said, standing up and stretching a little.
"On the floor? You didn't sleep on the floor with me..." Arabella said with a sigh. Hunter shrugged and let the talk of them together glance off of him.
"So, what do you want to do? We can get some room service or we can go down or we can just get back on the road. What do you want?" He asked a little bitterly. She looked at him strangely and cleared her throat quietly.
"Let's just go to breakfast." She said with a nod. She yawned a little and laid back, closing her eyes a moment. She lifted her arms and stretched, revealing some of her stomach and her smooth skin. Hunter couldn't stand it. He gritted his teeth and sighed before walking to the bathroom with his clothes under his arm. He changed into a clean shirt and pants before sitting on the edge of the bathtub. He buried his face in his hands and sighed. What were they going to do during breakfast? He didn't want to talk to her. He was angry and he was sad and he wanted to be with her, but he was just so finished with trying to win her back.
"You seriously need to make up your mind." Hunter heard his own voice and didn't even look up. He knew that Imaginary Hunter was in the bathroom with him. Sunglasses on his collar and his brown trench coat on. Hunter finally looked up and saw him sitting on the sink. "So, I'm here. Again."
"I'm not asking you to be here." Hunter said with a sigh. "I'm just thinking about things. You keep popping up and not giving me a chance to--Oh my gods why am I even talking to you?" He rubbed his eyes and stood up.
"Look, man." IH said, putting a hand on his shoulder. "We need to think about this. You're in a tight spot and I'm here to bounce ideas off of." He opened his arms and smiled. "Come. Bury your troubles in my comforting bosom." Hunter stared at IH for a few moments before shaking his head and sighing.
"No, I'm just...What do I even do?" Hunter said quietly. "If I ignore her, she thinks I don't care and she doesn't want to be my friend let alone be with me. If I try to get her back then she'll push me away and she'll...I don't know. Hate me or something." He leaned against the wall and shrugged. "I just don't understand. I'm just...I just really need to get past all this." He closed his eyes. When he proposed that they drive to San Fransisco, he didn't anticipate that the drive would ruin his life. He opened his eyes and finally exited the bathroom.
"You okay? You were in there a while." Arabella teased. Hunter looked at her and shrugged as he walked to his bag, putting his back toward her. He could feel her eyes on him for a long moment before he heard the bathroom door open and close. Hunter tried to pack his bag, but he sat on the bed. Well, it was more like collapsed on the bed. He didn't want to deal with this and he couldn't deal with this and, after all the stuff that he's been through, he didn't deserve to deal with this. He just really really needed to be somewhere else. His mind was messing with him and she was messing with him and it seemed like the whole world was crashing down around his ears. He sat there on the bed and took deep breaths, trying to calm down.
Hunter finally found his composure again and stood up again. Why did this have to happen? Hunter looked over when Arabella walked back in. She looked beautiful. Hunter cursed under his breath and turned back to his bag.
"You ready?" He asked, not looking at her. She paused for a moment and Hunter zipped up his bag.
"Yeah. Let's go." She said and Hunter turned around, still avoiding her eyes. The two of them walked into the elevator and silently rode to the lobby. They ate breakfast in silence and they packed up in silence. Hunter didn't want to talk and Arabella seemed to be off in her own world. Maybe last night wasn't a dream. Maybe she was thinking about Vera's wedding dress. He didn't know and he honestly didn't really want to know. It would have just confused him more. She finally finished packing and looked up at him.
"So, where are we headed next?" Arabella asked quietly. Hunter hid his eyes away from her and cleared his throat.
"Salt Lake City. It's about 8 hours." Hunter said with a sigh. How could this all happen? This trip was ruined and there was nothing to salvage it. They were so close to San Fransisco and the wedding. Hunter didn't even realize until then that they had the entire trip back to deal with. They two of them grabbed their bags and started toward the car. She wouldn't want to drive with him back to New York. He probably couldn't handle driving back with her. He couldn't handle another drive with her. They got everything packed up and Hunter slid into the driver's seat. A moment or two later, they were back on the road toward Utah. The idea was still pressing on his mind. He needed a solution.
"Hey, uhh...Arabella?" He said, glancing over. "Maybe you should get a plane ticket to New York and then while I'm driving back you can move everything out." The idea hurt him, but it was what needed to happen. "I'll just drive back on my own."