Tossing things out of her closet, Arabella worked through the shelves and the hangers. She needed something to take her mind off of the fact that her and Hunter weren't going to have kids. If she thought about it, if she sat down and actually throught about it, Arabella was sure that she would have a total breakdown. There was no way that she would be able to handle it.
Ontop of that, Hunter was a mess. He had been there for her to help her through hard times. She had to be there for him. Arabella needed to be strong for him and to be strong, she had to not think about it and to not think about it, she had to clean.
Arabella stepped out of the closet and looked over at the bed, where Jolie and Piggy were looking at her like she had lost her mind. She huffed and started shoving all of the clothes that she was getting rid of into a big bag to take down to Goodwill. Once that was all tied up and ready to go at the door, Arabella looked around her bedroom, trying to find something to do. However, the place was totally clean from the last time Arabella went on a cleaning spree. She pulled her hair up into a messy bun and stepped into the bathroom, ready to scrub it down.
Arabella didn't really know how long she was there. She cleaned around the bathroom for a long time but then she was hungry. Arabella washed her hands and she walked out of the bathroom, headed down the stairs. She peaked into the living room and what she saw nearly broke her heart. Hunter was still on the couch, staring off into space. Ajax was on his lap and he looked so broken, so hollow. Arabella closed her eyes and she turned away, walking to the kitchen. She picked up the phone and she quickly ordered out for pizza. Hunter was clearly in no shape to cook and Arabella wasn't going to ask him to. Pizza would be fine.
Arabella walked around the kitchen, impatiently, while she waisted for the food to get there. She was nervous about Hunter but maybe they would get some pizza, spend some time together on the couch and everything would be fine. When the doorbell rang, Arabella jumped a little bit and she ran to the door. She had to put on a smile. She had to smile at the man bringing them their food and she had to pretend that everything would be okay.
As soon as she had closed the door behind him, she walked back to the kitchen and she opened up the pizza box. She placed a few pieces on a plate and looked down at it then let out a little sigh. She could remember when Hunter had stayed at her apartment for the first time and he brought her pizza over to the table for her. Arabella smiled a little bit at the memory before she took Hunter's plate and brought it into the living room for him.
"Hey, Hunter? I ordered some pizza" Arabella said softly, walking up to his side and looking down at him with big eyes and a small smile that she was forcing. He didn't even look up at her. He looked so crushed and destroyed. All Arabella wanted to do was wrap her arms around him and tell him that everything was going to be okay but she didn't think that he would like that. He flinched when she touched him in the car.
Arabella looked down at him and she bit her lip, trying really hard not to cry. She needed to be strong for him. With a small sigh, she placed the plate of pizza down on the table beside him and she brushed her fingers along his jaw, causing him to flinch a little bit. "If you need anything, Hunter, I'll be in our bedroom" She said softly and she placed a light kiss at the top of his head. Arabella turned around and she walked up the stairs, taking a plate of pizza with her.
"Alright, Jolie...I need to distract myself with something" Arabella sighed, looking down at her small dog. Jolie looked up at her with a confused look on her face, like she had no idea why Arabella wasn't down on the couch with Hunter and Ajax. Arabella placed her pizza on the bedside table and she sat down on her side of the bed, folding her legs under her. She bent down a little bit and she pulled out her newest sketch book and a few pencils.
Maybe sketching some clothes would distract her. Before she met Hunter, she would sketch a few designs from distract her from the fact that she was alone and sad and stressed. Now, she was going to sketch to try and distract her from the fact that she was never going to have kids with Hunter and Hunter was turning into a vegetable.
Arabella flipped through the pages, stopping to look at a few dresses, skirts, shirts and pants that she had drawn up but when she got to the last couple of pages, her heart sank. On those pages, she had been sketching designs for maternity clothes. Dress and shirts and pants, all for a very pregnant person. A few tears fell down her cheeks and landed on the pages, smudging up the pencil markings. A small sob escaped form her lips and she started ripping the pages out. She balled them up and threw them across the room. Jolie ran after them and started playing with them. Arabella flopped back on the bed and she closed her eyes, trying to escape and forget that any of this had ever happened.
She fell asleep there but she only slept for a few hours. When she woke up, she still felt tired and worn out. Hunter wasn't by her side and he wasn't in the kitchen, making breakfast. All Arabella wanted was to wake up next to her husband but instead, she was waking up in a cold bed. Arabella groaned and she rolled off of the bed and walked out of the bedroom, down to the stairs.
"Hunter?" Arabella said softly, looking around the house a little bit. There was no response so she nervously tip toed into the living room, where she had seen him last. When she turned around the corner and she saw Hunter on the couch, sitting up and fast asleep, her heart sunk. He hadn't moved at all and Ajax was still on his lap. The pizza was still on the plate beside him, untouched.
"Come on, buddy" Arabella breathed, picking Ajax up and holding him close to her with one arm. She looked down at Hunter and she bit her lip, trying to hold back tears. Arabella bent down a little bit and she pressed her lips to the corner of his lips in a little kiss. "I'm so sorry, Hunter" She whispered in a watery voice and she headed back to the kitchen so that she could feed Ajax, crying softly.
The rest of the day was painful. Arabella put on a smile and she got dressed and she did her hair. She cleaned around the house, she organized, she ran some errands. She was nice to the people she met during her day. She never told anyone that anything was wrong. Arabella pretended that everything was okay for the whole day. But when she got home at the end of the day, with takeout food for supper, and she saw Hunter on the couch, Arabella couldn't pretend anymore. Hunter was still on the couch. Ajax was back on his lap. Arabella put a bit of the Thai food she bought on a plate and she put it beside Hunter then walked back up to their bedroom.
Hunter was supposed to work the next day. He was supposed to roll out of bed in the morning, kiss Arabella and tell her that he loved her. He was supposed to go to work and then come home at the end of the day, wrap his arms around Arabella and make supper. Arabella let out a sigh as she walked up the stairs and flopped down on their bed. She pulled out her phone and she dialed the number for Hunter's work. When they answered, Arabella paused for a minute. If she spoke to them and told them what she needed to tell them, then it would make it real.
"Hi, uhm, this is Arabella calling. I just needed to phone in and say that Hunter won't be able to make it work tomorrow" Arabella said softly and she cleared her throat. "He's pretty sick"
"Oh, sure..that's not a problem. I'll just write it down" The woman on the other end of the phone said. "I hope he gets better soon!"
"Yeah, me too..." Arabella breathed and she hung up the phone. She laid back on the bed, closing her eyes and holding back tears. Having to deal with not having kids with Hunter was hard enough. She didn't want to have to deal with this broken, empty shell that Hunter had become.
Arabella stayed in bed for the rest of the night. She didn't sleep. She couldn't sleep without Hunter next to her. Arabella stayed awake, staring up at the ceiling and trying to not think of anything. Around 3 in the morning, Arabella rolled out of bed and she shuffled down the stairs. Her whole body was sore and she was exhausted. She needed to get some sleep. She needed her husband.
Ajax was on Hunter's lap and Hunter was on the couch in the living room. They were both fast asleep. Arabella took a small breath and she nudged Ajax off of the couch. He looked up at her with a very offended look and he curled up on the ground, resting his head on Hunter's feet. Arabella sat down on the couch and she looked up at Hunter with sad eyes before she laid down, putting her head on Hunter's lap and falling asleep.
In the morning, Arabella woke up before Hunter could wake up. She looked up at him and kissed his cheek lightly then slid off of the couch and up the stairs. Arabella was going to get dressed, do her hair and her makeup and pretend that she was fine. She had to be strong for Hunter, most of all. She had to pretend that she wasn't hurting so that he didn't feel any worse.
Arabella got a shower, got dressed, did everything she needed to do and grabbed her purse on her way down the stairs. She looked into the living room and saw the Hunter was awake and for the third day, he was sitting on the couch, starin off into space and looking like he was dead on the inside. "Hunter. I'm going out for the day. I'll be back before supper" She told him. Her voice sounded loud and harsh in the quiet house. He didn't respond. He didn't even look on her. "I love you, Hunter. I hope you remember that" She told him then turned and walked out of the house.